Depression & Self Care: More than Just Bubble Baths & Face Masks

Self-Care seems to be the hot new thing being pushed on social media nowadays, which is AWESOME. I am all for people taking better care of themselves! It needs to be more ingrained into us; American’s especially, because we live in such a go-go-go/rise & grind society. Almost everyday I see a quote or an article telling me how to improve my self-care. While I encourage everyone to prioritize their self-care, know that for some of us, it goes much deeper than just taking a bubble bath and using a face mask (but those are still two of my favorites, not hating on them as self-care tools whatsoever.) What I hope to convey to you is just how hard it is to take care of myself and my environment when I am depressed. This is my own personal experience with depression and self-care. If you have experienced depression, maybe it never got this bad for you, or maybe it was worse. Either way, I hope my story can help someone out there feel like they are not alone in this. I will also provide a few tips on how I have been working on snapping myself out of these negative patterns of behavior.

Being depressed wreaks havoc on my self-care and causes me to neglect everything important in my life. Feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness creep in and normal tasks start to become difficult for me. I prioritize the absolute minimum that I need to in order to get through my day and not lose my jobs. Building my own business comes to a halt and my to-do list piles up. There have been days where I have stayed in my bed for the entire day and done nothing other than cuddle my cats and watch netflix all day simply because I could not find the motivation to do one thing I loved. Poor self-care affects every aspect of my life! Chores, errands, and personal hygiene all take a back seat when I am depressed.

The cleanliness of my apartment is a direct reflection of my mental state. Clothes will be scattered around the entire apartment. The laundry basket will pile up higher and higher until I run out of clothes to wear. Even if I can force myself to actually do a load of laundry when I am depressed, the clean clothes wind up staying in the laundry basket unfolded and a new pile of dirty clothes will form on the floor or continue to be scattered around the apartment. The dishes are hard for me to do when I’m not depressed. I’m not sure why; they have just always been one of my least favorite chores. When I am depressed, the dishes do not get done. Unfortunately this places the whole burden onto my husband which is not fair to him.

Errands? Non-existent when I am depressed. It is exponentially harder for me to drag myself to the grocery store and go shopping, which only causes me to treat myself even more poorly by eating out constantly. There are things on my to-do list that I have put off doing for months on end because they just aren’t a high enough priority. I was married 13 months ago and there are still several accounts that have my maiden name on them. Again, I was only worrying about doing the things that absolutely NEEDED to be done.

Personal hygiene is probably the hardest part for me to talk about. The normal everyday habits that most humans have to keep up their appearance just aren’t important to me. I have to literally force myself to do simple tasks like shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, and brush my hair. There have been instances where I have gone 5 days without washing my hair (I will body shower though). Skipping brushing my teeth has happened more than I would like to admit, but I luckily still have great teeth according to my dentist, so that’s good at least. Some mornings when it is extra hard to get out of bed, I will skip washing my face. Brushing my hair gets overlooked as well; it goes straight up into a bun and stays there all day. Depression causes a vicious cycle of self neglect. When one thing gets thrown out of balance, everything else falls too. I stop caring about myself, my passions, and my actual physical surroundings. Learning more about depression and how it affects me personally has helped me to shorten my depressive episodes and develop tools to overcome these low points in my life.

Developing a consistent self-care routine while you are NOT depressed will help to keep these tasks more automatic throughout your day. You also need to start learning about what starts to slip for you when you get depressed. Neglecting yourself might take a different form for you than it does for me. I am gaining awareness around my own neglectful behaviors when I am depressed which helped me to notice when I start heading towards a low point. I truly feel that over the last two years, managing my depression has improved because of how much time I have taken to examine exactly what is happening in my head. Being able to notice when I am slipping back into these patterns has helped me to be able to develop tools to snap out of it and get back on track.

One of the biggest tools that I rely on is my support system. I reach out to those I care most about and I let them know I am not doing okay. I ask my friends and family for words of support or encouragement. If your loved ones are in the dark about what is going on in your life, there is no possible way they are able to help. I remember having a conversation with my Grandma a few years ago and I told her I was horribly depressed and anxious, and I was starting medication to help control the symptoms. She was SO surprised when I told her this. My Grandmother had no idea that I had been struggling with depression at the time, let alone for the 10+ years prior to that as well. It was a wake up call to me that my family knew nothing about my mental health struggles, and I knew nothing about the mental health history of our family in general. It is just not something that is normally talked about! In fact, in some families it is hidden away in the dark and made to be seen like a secret we can’t or shouldn’t talk about. If we do not feel comfortable talking to our own families about our mental health, how can we feel comfortable opening up to anyone else? Find people in your life who will listen to you without judgement and just let you be exactly as you are.

Another awesome tools that I use is a habit tracker. You can find templates easily online or you can create your own in your journal. I list a few important tasks that I hope to prioritize each day on one side of the page, and number the top with the days of the month, making columns to check off each task for each day. I will include a link to a template for one at the bottom of the article. A few habits you may want to track are: showers, water intake, hours of sleep, washing your face, brushing your teeth, laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc. There are so many things you can add but I would recommend starting off small to be able to make it manageable. Pick the top 5 self-care habits that you want to prioritize in your life. Becoming consistent with this while you’re healthy will also set you up for success while you are depressed. If you do become depressed and find yourself forgetting to keep up, use that as a SIGN! If you look back at your journal after a week and see that you only tracked your habits for one day, or not at all, chances are you were not your best self those days.

The last tool I will talk to you about today is movement. Whether it is yoga, running, weightlifting, riding a bike, or just going for a walk, get your body moving as soon as you start feeling depressed. This can be difficult because it is hard to drag ourselves to the gym when we are feeling down. At this point you have no motivation, so you can’t rely on motivation to get you in the gym. You have to have the awareness that you are heading down a path towards depression and FORCE yourself to get moving. At a certain point, it just takes willpower. If you can’t fathom stepping into the gym and being around other people, just take a walk outside. You don’t have to do a full blown sweat breaking and breathtaking workout, just get your blood pumping because it WILL help. It won’t fix the problem entirely, but it will push you in the right direction. More specific posts about types of movement that I do (while depressed and not) will be in future posts.

The more you learn about your mental health, the more you will learn to take steps to make things better. I don’t like being depressed, who does? Ever since I have actively started to fight my depression, my episodes have become significantly shorter. As time goes on, I will learn more tools to help myself and I will share those with you as I do! I feel like I am just at the beginning of figuring out how to navigate my life with depression, and only hope it keeps getting easier to manage from here. I look forward to developing my knowledge of mental health, movement, how the two connect to each other and sharing that knowledge with you all! I hope this look into my life with depression can help you in someway.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/516cbd34e4b0bb1f91d354ed/t/586bcfbe197aeaa9093edb3e/1483460544073/Habit+Tracker.pdf from www.evermorepaperco.com