Dealing with Depression without Derailing Your Life

Being depressed can make doing even the simplest tasks seem as hard as brain surgery. It feels like there is a fog around your mind that is preventing you from thinking clearly. Waking up depressed makes me want to do nothing except lay in bed; sometimes that is exactly what I will do! But the good news is that those days are becoming far and few between.

Sometimes your body NEEDS a day to rest in bed and escape from the world for a moment; you just have to make sure you don’t stay there. This most recent experience with depression was different for me. I felt more in control & felt as if my entire life was not being derailed like it had been with other bouts of depression.

The first thing that helped me to cope with my depression was an awareness around it and how it was affecting my life. Once I started to become aware of my depression and the way my life changed while depressed, I started to reach out for help. As I think about it, this had to happen at several points throughout my life. Reaching out for help would provide a temporary solution or a band-aid to the deeper underlying problems of my mental health. More details on that in a later post.

Denying that there is anything wrong with you will ultimately make your episodes of depression worse. The more we deny our suffering, the harder it will come back to show us that is it still there. Accepting that you are depressed can help you to move through your depression with a different perspective. Being able to acknowledge that you are depressed allows those feelings to be in the present. You are not fighting them or pretending that they are not there; you are just letting them exist with your life.

The tricky part is to not let them get in the way of your life! In the past, depression has made me feel like a worthless failure. How can I be helping people work through their shit if I can't even handle my own? I never took the next steps towards building my business, or even releasing this blog because I was afraid. The depression became an excuse for me to avoid going after what I really wanted in life. I had to stop believing these thoughts. I had to bring awareness to my negative self narrative and actively work to change it to a positive one. Helping others to heal from their shit is what I am meant to do; I can feel it! We only have on life and I am determined to help as many people as I can to live their lives to the fullest.

Over the past two years I have been learning and developing a toolbox for deep inner work. One of the most important points things I want you to remember when you are depressed is to give yourself a break! It’s not fair to hold yourself to the same life standards that you do when you are not depressed. Allow yourself time and space to move through whatever emotions may be present right now instead of ignoring them. Again, learn to accept your life as it is in this moment.

Learn the difference between allowing yourself to feel your emotions and letting your emotions run your life. In the past I have let my depression rear its ugly head and get in the way of every aspect of my life. Household chores went out the window; my performance at work would lack or I would frequently call off work; movement was almost non-existent; my relationships were neglected; binging on fast food & snacks would happen often; any interest in hobbies disappeared; and I generally would just treat myself like garbage when I was depressed. My emotions controlled my whole life! I knew that this was not how I wanted to continue living my life which is why I have worked so hard on my mental health.

My most recent battle with depression looked different than it has in the past. Gradually, I am learning to allow depression to come into my life without it ruining everything else with it. This is where help comes back in! Trying to heal myself on my own just wasn’t realistic. Accountability and support have become necessary in my healing process. A huge step that I have made is just telling the people in my life that I am depressed.

As much as I hate doing chores when I am depressed, I have been forcing myself to do them! A big victory for me has been staying on top of the laundry. In the past I would literally let my clothes pile up until I did not have anymore to wear. This year has been a huge difference for me in my work performance while depressed. Being able to have open and honest conversations with my bosses about my mental state has allowed me to feel more comfortable showing up to work while depressed without it affecting my performance as much as it used to. There are still some days that are worse than others, but overall things are getting better.

When you communicate with your loved ones that you are depressed, you allow them the opportunity to provide you support or at the very least start a conversation about how they might be able to provide you support. For so long I lived in fear of my mental health that I was afraid to talk to anyone about it. Now I realize that opening up about what is really going on in your head can have endless benefits!

Developing a consistent self care routine has been key in helping my mood throughout this depressive episode. Something as simple as forcing myself to shower and brush my teeth before work can create a slightly better mood for myself. Moving my body has looked differently these past few weeks, because again, I have not held myself to the standard of movement that I usually do when I am not depressed. Instead of high intensity workouts like I am used to, I do gentler movements and allow my body the space to rest. Short hikes, leisurely bike rides, frisbee golf, and yoga are just a few examples of the movement I have been getting in throughout this depression.

My perspective has shifted over the past few years. I no longer let myself be a victim and let my depression ruin my life. My depression is not “cured” by any means, but I have gotten to a point where I can live my life without everything falling apart because of it. You have control over your reality; you just have to make the choice to create a life you love, even when you're depressed.